"You're a nit whinny!" Lemonella exclaimed. "Nit whinny!" She laughed. "That is the perfect name for you!" Lemonella from Isasnora Snores.
All my previous blogs have been interviews with male characters. Part of this reason is Isasnora Snores, though about a female hero, has many male parts. I like having a female hero among all these boys and men! Girl power – yeah! (I like boy - power, too!).
Interviewing Lemonella was not on my agenda, but when I arrived to interview Prince Hubert, he had run off chasing butterflies. I tried catching up with him, but at my age, my knees would not cooperate! Disappointed, I returned to my time machine planning some other story for this week's blog. As I approached Wilber (that's what I call my machine), someone was tinkering inside.
“Who’s in my machine?” I asked, terrified there was some monster inside, lurking.
A blond head popped out. “Who’s asking?”
I tried putting on my fiercest face. “Me. That's my machine! I assure you that you'll never see your family again if you remain in there!" I'm not sure that was true, but I needed to sound as if I meant it.
After a lot of stomping and pouting, she finally climbed out.
From all the stomping and pouting, I assumed it was Lemonella, Isasnora's cousin.
"Are you Lemonella?" I asked.
She squinted her eyes. "Who's asking?"
"I wrote the book, Isasnora Snores."
Her lips curled in disgust. "Oh, you." She decided to walk around me, tapping her chin. "Everything you wrote about me was all wrong!"
"You mean you're not as nasty as I depicted you?"
A wicked grin played on her face. "No, I'm meaner."
Since Prince Hubert was chasing butterflies, and I had no idea of what to write about, I reluctantly requested an interview.
Her lips turned down when she replied. “I’ll answer your questions if you remove that awful picture of Isasnora from the book cover and replace it with a picture of me!”
“Sorry, the illustrator, David King, would get terribly upset if I did that. I guess I’ll head back to my country and make up something for this week’s blog.”
“Wait!” she said. “Isn’t there something in it for me if I talk to you?”
After promising her ice cream, she consented. But that was after explaining what ice cream was.
Here we go.
Me: How much older are you than Isasnora?
Lemonella: My mother told me to never disclose my age.
Me: People back in the medieval times were also self-conscious about getting old?
Lemonella: I do have to keep up my reputation…
Me: Why did your parents name you Lemonella?
Lemonella: Because of my beautiful yellow hair, of course.
Me: Oh, I thought it had something to do with your personality.
Me: Earlier, you had mentioned that you were meaner than I had described in the book. Could you give me some examples?
Instead of answering, she pulled out a rope, knocked me to the ground, tied and gagged me. Then she climbed into Wilbur and lifted her eyebrows in an evil arch. "Good bye!"
My tired, old body quaked in horror as I thought about what would happen in 2020 if Lemonella appeared! She would certainly need to be taught proper hand washing techniques and social distancing with this COVID-19 virus. Imagine the germs she would spread! Then my mind went to an even worse scenario. What if she ended up in Napoleon's time period? Imagine Lemonella and Napoleon joining forces against the world! We would all end up speaking French - though that's not a bad language!
I had to fix this problem!
Wiggling my hands and feet, I was able to free myself and slowly stand up. I hobbled to the time machine when I heard Lemonella shrieking, "A worm! Get it off me!"
Dangling down from Lemonella was King Lovel, his black antennae waving in her eyes.
"King Lovel!" I shouted. "She's trying to steal my time machine."
"Get it off me!" Lemonella shouted.
"Only if you get out of my machine and promise never to go inside it again!"
She agreed. I waited for her to climb out, then took my pencil to her face for Lovel to creep down it (though King Lovel is a nice slug, I still don't want to touch him). Lemonella ran away wiping her forehead as if it was full of the COVID virus.
"Thank you, King Lovel," I said as I set him down on a mossy rock. "I guess I better get back."
Fortunately I had snapped Lemonella's picture before the interview. After this incident I realized I had to come up with a way to keep intruders out of my time machine. Who knows what kind of problems could happen if it fell into the wrong hands! One thing is for certain, when I return, I will NOT have ice cream for Lemonella.
Thanks for joining me!
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EXCITING NEW DEVELOPMENTS COMING SOON!
You'll soon be able to listen to the characters of Isasnora Snores as we relive some of the scenes from the book. Stay tuned!